Ohio State is a complete and total fraud
Last week I committed a serious error in making my predictions – I listened to the pundits and allowed myself to agree with them.
I failed to recognize that if my own theories align with people who are proven idiots, I need to conduct a deeper inquiry into the matter at hand.
My read on the Skunk Bears was correct, as far as it went. What I did not study – and therefore where I was wrong – was in assuming Ohio State is legit.
It is not.
The Buckeyes are actually several layers of fraud, a series of lies piled one on top of the other, a level of groundless hype that rivals Obamacare’s rollout in its spin-to-fact ratio.
Here follows a point-by-point dissection of OSU’s alleged strengths.
The Offense – Like all bullies, the Buckeyes like to pile points on demoralized and outclassed adversaries to make them look bigger than they are. Pounding Florida A&M 76-0 said absolutely nothing about the strength of the Ohio State offense, but it did speak volumes about the character of its coach.
The two toughest defenses – Iowa and Wisconsin – held them to very non-explosive point totals: 34-24 and 31-24 respectively. Neither team has a particularly potent offense, a factor that played heavily in their defeats.
The Defense – Wise commentators are correctly focusing on this vulnerability. The real question is not MSU’s defense against OSU’s offense, it is whether OSU’s flimsy secondary can give Conner Cook a career day. Cal lost 11 games this year, but they managed to put up 34 points against Ohio State. That was Cal's second-best offensive performance of the year.
Urban Meyer seems to know this, and he compensates - as RichRod does - by simply piling on the points. The idea is that the oppnent will get demoralized and give up once it gets too far behind. Against patsies, this works. Which leads us to...
The Schedule – Michigan State benefited from a favorable schedule, but it still contained several tough road games: Notre Dame, Iowa and Nebraska.
Ohio State had all of its tough opponents at home – and the margin of victory was hardly vast. They had to come back against Iowa and looked terrible for most of the game. If the Hawkeyes had a stronger offense, they would have pulled off the upset. The same can be said for the Badgers – if they could have drawn upon one of Bret Bielema’s mercenary quarterbacks, they might have derailed the Buckeye Express in September.
Indeed, OSU has not a single quality road win this year. Look at the schedule and try to find one. Northwestern? Illinois? Don’t make me laugh.
If we narrow the requirement to a team with an overall winning record we get a one-point squeaker against a hobbled 7-5 Michigan squad that managed to put up more yards on them in one game than against all its other opponents in the previous month. Watching that game, I kept imagining the Skunk Bears were playing Indiana. The game was almost a reply of the Wolverine's shootout with the Hoosiers, which leads me to wonder if our game will be similar.
The Streak – The only reason OSU has its unbeaten streak is that it was barred from post-season play last year. Absent that, they would have been exposed and humiliated by Alabama or some other SEC juggernaut. (Of course, Spartan fans know all about how referees cost us a victory last year by blowing a fumble call, but let's not go there.)
The facts are clear – against actual opponents, the Buckeyes struggle. Their sky-high offense comes down to earth and their defense buckles under the least bit of strain.
Based on this, I make the bold prediction that MSU will win by double digits. As with the Skunk Bears, the media hype machine is obscuring key defects in OSU’s team.
MSU wins 35-21.